I grew up in church, but for years I never truly had a real personal relationship with Christ. I knew of Him, but I didn't actually know Him. Around 2021, I recommitted my life to Christ, and from that point on I genuinely wanted to follow Him. But even though I loved God, I found myself living in the same cycle over and over again. I would promise Him I was done with certain sins, only to fall right back into them. I knew I could give God more, but I lacked the discipline and drive to actually do it. I would wake up spiritually drained, unmotivated, and feeling like I was just surviving instead of living with purpose.
I was stuck chasing temporary pleasure, stuck in addictions, and constantly trying to fill a void that nothing in this world could satisfy. Every time I gave in to the things I thought would make me happy, they only left me feeling emptier than before. Looking back, I can clearly see that I was being tossed around because I didn't know how to fight spiritually. I wasn't rooted in God's Word, and I wasn't applying it to my everyday life. I loved God, but I wasn't truly walking with Him.
As I began spending consistent time in prayer, reading Scripture, and actually applying God's Word instead of just hearing it, everything started to change. It wasn't an overnight transformation, but God slowly began changing my heart. My desires started changing. I began pursuing righteousness instead of pleasure, discipline instead of comfort, and obedience instead of excuses. I finally started seeing life the way God intended me to.
I realized that purpose isn't something you accidentally stumble into—it's found by walking daily with Jesus. The closer I grew to Him, the more He revealed areas of my life that needed to change, and although the process hasn't always been easy, it's been worth every step. God has shown me that real freedom isn't found in doing whatever we want; it's found in surrendering our lives completely to Him.
One verse that has become foundational to my life is 2 Timothy 2:21 (ESV): "Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work."
